I was diagnosed with depression in 2004. After years of wondering why my mood tended toward darkness, it was a relief to have a reason why. The diagnosis filled me with shame nonetheless. I struggled for years with taking my medication properly, with internalizing certain negative attitudes, with feeling like I should be able fix it all myself.

Spoiler: I couldn't.

These days, with medication and therapy, I'm doing better. But even now, depression can sneak up on me and yank me back down into a hole I'd been climbing out of for months, or even years.

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, taking over and making me so tired it's easier to give in than to fight it.

It lies and makes me think no one cares. It tells me that I'm powerless. But the worst thing depression does is tell me that I'm unlovable.

I wanted to write a book where my depressed character, Ashton, is loved—deeply. I wanted to write a book to show my characters taking control. In WHEN THE STARS LEAD TO YOU, maybe they don't always get it right, but they try.

It's okay to keep trying. It's okay to keep learning. It's okay to get help.

We don't have to do this alone. There are resources out there. And it's always okay to turn to them.

Suicide Prevention

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- In a crisis, call their free and 24/7 U.S. hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
- Contact their Crisis Text Line: text TALK to 741-741

National Hopeline Network: hopeline.com | 1-800-442-HOPE (4673)

American Association of Suicidology: suicidology.org

American Foundation For Suicide Prevention: afsp.org

Suicide Prevention Resource Center: sprc.org

IMAlive: imalive.org

The Trevor Project: thetrevorproject.org

For Suicide Loss Survivors

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors: allianceofhope.org

American Association of Suicidology survivors page: suicidology.org/suicide-survivors/suicide-loss-survivors

Friends for Survival: friendsforsurvival.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline survivors page: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/

Suicide Awareness Voices of Education: save.org

Understanding Mental Illness

Mental Health America: mhanational.org

National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org

National Institute of Mental Health: nimh.nih.gov

Befrienders Worldwide: befrienders.org